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Express Yourself on Valentine’s Day

There are many ways to say “I love you” to your significant other; you can get creative, sentimental, even mushy, because you are already past the stage of embarrassment or rejection. But what if you want to express your feelings to someone who is not yet your significant other?

How do you tell someone that you are interested without being pushy or overwhelming? Valentine’s Day is the perfect opportunity to show your true feelings and the right gift can deliver the message for you.

Gifts can convey different meanings for different people, but here are some general guidelines for Valentine’s Day.

Flowers in general don’t necessarily mean commitment, so relax guys. Women know when an arrangement simply means you care. Roses, on the other hand, are Mother Nature’s Valentines and each color has a different meaning:

  • Red – love/beauty
  • Yellow – friendship/joy
  • Peach – desire/excitement
  • Pink – gentility/admiration
  • White – innocence/purity

For that special someone you’ve been admiring from afar, don’t confuse them with a yellow or pink rose. That can keep them guessing for months, not knowing exactly what you meant by it. If you are trying to convey hidden feelings, a single red rose is a subtle and non-intimidating way to do so. It says you’re a romantic. Of course, it can also say you’re cheap.

Another way to give roses is by the dozen. A dozen roses in red means no question about it, “I like/want/am interested in you.” It says you’re definitely NOT cheap. It also says you’re definitely not subtle. You are either a romantic who takes risks or you are coming on too strong. Whether you give one or a dozen rosesdepends on how confident you feel about the recipient’s response.

Another Valentine’s Day favorite is chocolates. However, giving chocolate just doesn’t mean what it used to. Both men and women generally consider giving chocolate more as a friendly gesture. In Japan, it’s common for the females to give their male friends chocolate. Nowadays, if you are trying to send a romantic message, chocolates are not going to do it. They are too generic and have become the “safe and neutral” gift. They are safe to give to your boss and employees, neighbors, teachers, etc. However, really expensive boxed chocolate or ones that come in a heart-shaped box will probably give romantic connotations.

“How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.” A poem, love letter or anything written will definitely express your interest to the receiver. You might get a response for your efforts; laughed at if your ability to compose poetry is limited to rhyming; or if you are really good, you’ll get the person’s attention. If you can’t impress them with your impoverished poetry-writing skills, use a classical love poem like one of Shakespeare’s love sonnets.

You can always combine the written word with flowers or chocolates to get the message across, but make sure it’s a clear message. Mira, a college student at Cornell University, received a red rose stuck in her college dorm door with a sappy note attached to it signed, ‘Your Universal Admirer.’ “It was so cheesy that I figured it was from my friend Billy. So I called him and left a message thanking him. Turns out it was from this guy who lived on the same floor, with whom I had maybe two conversations with. He mentioned to me, maybe two months ago, that he went to Universal Studios in LA and thought of me because I was from that area. But by the time he came clean, a week had passed and I had already started going out with Billy as a result of the rose mix-up!”

The clearest way to get the message across is to say it. Ask the person out for dinner, a movie or a show on Valentine’s Day. If someone is asking you to spend Valentine’s Day with them, it’s pretty obvious that they are interested in more than friendship. If you go the dinner and movie route, spend the time to find a romantic restaurant and the right movie, i.e. no fast food and no Rambo.

Bottom line is this: if you want to get the message across, be direct but not intimidating — you don’t want to scare the person off. For most women, giving a single red rose to a woman is romantic but not overwhelming. Kirsten, a cable program producer, suggests giving chocolate to a guy. It’s a simple gesture and might get him to start thinking about romantic possibilities. He may consider reciprocating with dinner or something of that nature. Well, whatever gift you decide to send, attach a note expressing your feelings so you don’t confuse the person by making them guess what you are trying to say and the wrong person doesn’t take credit for your efforts.

This entry was posted on February 11, 2011 at 10:19 pm.